Sunday, May 2, 2010

Perhaps None of the above...

The council's Life magazine very kindly attempted to help us with the voting procedure on May 6th, with examples of what we might expect in the voting booth. Perhaps because of printing deadlines, the magazine presented us with examples rather than the real thing, and these show us the choice of voting for Pigeon, Blackbird, Sparrow and other wildfowl for our MP.

We are pretty sure there is no foulplay here, but if you're living in Reginald Road where some twat is feeding the pigeons and all your laundry is covered in pigeon shit, you're probably going to be totally averse to voting for the Pigeon Party, top of the list....The real list has Darren Johnson, Green Party, in that slot.

Likewise with the council elections list. Those people who we're most likely to meet and ask to act on our behalf are portrayed as insects in Life magazine. Ladybird, beetle, spider, earwig, caterpillar, millipede. Shall we like the ladybird at least? That's a LibDem (Atkins) on the real list. But the most feared insect, the spider, (of course it's not an insect but many people think it is, including the council's communications team) is also a Lib Dem (in third position, alphabetically, Chris Gee). Next feared insect, the earwig, occupies 4th position (Ian Page is 4th in the real list).

For the Mayor, we have plants, and this is where the Communications Unit has had the most fun: the top plant is Pimpernel = Bullock, the second Chickweed = Culnane (BNP), then Periwinkle = Dare (English Democrats), Bluebell = Hamilton (People Before Profit), Pansy = Maines (Lib Dem), Buttercup = Nundy (Con).....

A Crossfields resident opted for a postal vote and we therefore present the forms as you may see them on May 6th if and when you wander over to Tidemill School to do your thing.

General election: your MP vote (white ballot paper) – One vote:

Council election: your councillors (yellow ballot paper) – THREE votes:

Mayoral election: (peach coloured ballot paper) – Vote for 1st and 2nd choice (two columns):

Thanks to DD for the real thing.


  1. The real bit of news here is that Lewisham Life was actually delivered to flats above the ground floor this month. I don't remember when I last got one delivered to my penthouse suite. I wonder if someone managed to make their complaint heard. If so, congratulations to them.

    There's a minor typo on page 13, just below ''Election of Mayor'' on the specimen voting slip. It tells you to vote once in column one for you first choice and then tells you to vote once in column one for your second choice. It should read ''...column two for your Second Choice.'' Maybe they got distracted by making up plant names.

    The real voting slip, which puts farmyard animals not plants in prime position, looks to be correct though.

  2. i allways get the lewisham life delivered to my not ground floor apartment , and as usual it goes straight in the recycling , as no doubt next week i'll get another copy by post , of this paper PR nonsense ...

    seriously though , i'd really like to know more about general voting trends around here , so i could vote in a more tactical fashion , as i'd quite like to see the pimpernel and lady bug get ousted .. any ideas anyone ?

  3. Hello Wilshaw Lass,
    Not much of a debate here, but the citizens of Brockley have been putting in their penny worth in the comments section of Brockley Central's election posts...

  4. The BBC website has a Compare Policies page here:

    You can choose the parties to compare, and then click through the issues in the menu at the top...

  5. A snippet from the Guardian's Election page made me think of the ''none of the above'' link in the post.

    12.24pm: And now for a bit of novelty. Press Association's Chris Montcrieff reports that a candidate whose surname is "Above" and whose "Other Names" are given as "None Of The" is contesting the election in Chingford and Woodford Green, the seat being defended by Iain Duncan Smith, the former Conservative leader.

    Unfortunately for "Mr Above" he appears, for alphabetical reasons, at the top of the list of candidates, with no one above him.

    It might have been wiser for him to have renamed himself "Below", which would at least have put him second in a list of eight candidates.

    The mystery candidate gives his address on the ballot paper as Woodberry Way, North Chingford.

    I think they should have called themselves Zabove, with None of those as a forename.

  6. Ha, ha...he should've done Nunavzo Zabuv...